... of direct response marketing. Now may I create one for you?
Hi. My name is Josh Manheimer.
I'm short, bald, middle-aged, overweight, and ... one of the best direct response copywriters on God's green earth.
If we were to meet in person, you'd find me wholly unremarkable in every way.
But if you were to hire me to write your emails, landing pages, google ads and sales letters, you'd quickly shower me with kisses as you realize, you've found your new Marketing Sherpa who can help you scale the heights to Everest-like profits.
Not sure why this is, exactly.
Some people can sing like Beyonce or Bocelli. Some play football like the Manning brothers. I write direct response sales copy on par with some of the great legends in the industry ... Bill Jayme, Linda Wells, Hank Burnett ... alas, God Rest Their Souls, I've beaten them all at one point or another.
Now may I use my talents to craft your new sales material and attach a rocket booster to your response rates?
If you ever have the opportunity to come visit my farm here in Vermont, I'll give you a tour of my famous controls as if we were viewing old Masters at the Metropolitan Museum.
Here is my historic sales letter for EVERYDAY HEALTH HINTS which helped it become the most successful package in the history of Rodale Press's book division.
"Should be in a vacuumed sealed museum somewhere," muttered Richard Armstrong -- an A-List copywriter with a client pedigree as long as my driveway.
Here is my earth-shattering sales letter for MORE magazine that resulted in the most successful package in the history of the Meredith Corporation.
"The copy is the best I've ever seen in a direct mail package," sputtered veteran Meredith Artistic Director, Jeff Thompson, with mouth-agape.
Here is my jaw-dropping package for COOKING LIGHT which pulled 10.55% and humbled the late, great copywriter, Bill Jayme.
(Bill graciously called to congratulate me before he passed away, and asked if I would consider changing careers.)
Here is ...
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My mind-boggling sales letter for STORY magazine, written in one feverish weekend, which pulled 14%!
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My throat-grabbing sales letter for WRITER'S DIGEST which could not be beaten for over ten years by some of the greatest copywriters in the English Language.
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My mesmerizing sales letter for THE NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOKS which dominated the mail for almost eight years.
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My famous sales letter for PLAYBOY that caused men everywhere to leap onto chairs ... lean out windows, and shout to strangers passing by, "My God! You've got to see this!"
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My shocking sales letter for NEW ENGLAND MONTHLY which caused Denison Hatch, the Editor of WHO'S MAILING WHAT to trumpet, "The four-page letter is a masterpiece of exclusivity, highly personal copy, mystery, irresistible teases, bold promises …It pulls a dazzling 35% cash with 80% pay-up. Bravo all around!"
Get the idea?
If it's dark, late, and you're standing at the corner of Internet Avenue and Direct Marketing Boulevard, you'll want me there beside you with my Copywriter Nunchucks.
Indeed, for over 25 years I have built a reputation as one of our nation's top direct response copywriters, helping my clients launch their magazines ... sell their cookbooks ... fill up their membership organizations ... rev up their rototillers ... buy their software ... enroll in their credit cards ... and everything in between.
Perhaps you've heard of them? Consumer Reports. Better Homes and Gardens. Quicken and Quickbooks. GMAC Auto Insurance. North American Hunting and Fishing Clubs. Time-Life Books and Videos. Newsweek. Playboy. The Christian Science Monitor.
In fact, here's what a few of my clients have to say about their experience after working with me ... and what you can expect if you accept my offer for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
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Josh Charles Manheimer
The World's Greatest
Direct Mail Copywriter
Can you and I have a free 15-minute phone consultation where I review your sales materials and offer a frank, confidential assessment about how I would add a rocket-booster to your response rates?
My hand is extended. Will you shake it?
"Josh: 10.55% Congratulations!
-- Ellen de Lathouder
Cooking Light
"Your direct mail package indexed 340! That's unbelievable!
-- K.S.
Director of Marketing
Affinity Group
"Not sure if anyone's mailing these days. And I'm really not sure anyone's posting 10% response rates. Anyone, that is, but Mary Janes Farm!"
--Greg King
Senior V.P. Circulation
Belvoir Media Group
"You are still winning big. Still by a factor of 2 to 1. In fact, BOTH of your direct mail packages are winning big."
--James Barker, Publisher
Vermont Magazine
"Just wanted to let you guys know that your package killed the control by more than 50%! Nice job!"
--Dean Lage
Belvoir Media Group
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"Did Jennifer tell you that our Gooseberry Patch Christmas Cookbook package is making Oxmoor House direct mail history? It pulled an unbelievable response - so much so that we canceled our creative test for the next mailing, that it would be wasted money!"
--Julie Doll, Marketing Director
Southern Progress
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 "Hi Josh, Your DM package is a winner! On a few lists you're nearly double."
--Matthew Rothschild
Publisher
The Progressive
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"Your Yellow Poly package has been the control at Playboy for at least 12 seasons!"
--Phyllis Rotunno
Circulation Director
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Now may I bring my years of experience and expertise to help you craft your sales letters, landing pages, and google ad campaigns?
Perhaps you've tried cheap copywriters and are still beaten, bitter, and bruised from the experience ... with ads that no one clicks on and landing pages that no one seems to read.
If so, you've probably learned that you get what you pay for ... which may be why you're entertaining the idea of pulling out all the stops and hiring a top drawer, A-list, direct marketing professional.
Good! We don't have to start from scratch, then. No doubt, you now understand that great, compelling direct response sales copy can often mean the difference between success and failure.
(Did you know in the old days, many direct marketing companies would keep the names of their copywriters secret because they didn't want their competitors to hire us away. These companies knew that having a great copywriter in their stable was like having Secretariat in their barn. When it's time to run, you want a horse who knows how to win!)
And--boy!--do I know how to win when it comes to direct response marketing. Big time!
"Cash orders is 84%. That's fairly phenomenal, Josh."
--Colleen Cannon
Promotion Director
F&W Publishing
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"Over 7% response! The results have blown us all away!"
--Bob Cohen ProCirc
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"Big winner over our voucher. 40% lift in net!"
-- G.K. Belvoir Media Group
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"Your direct mail package is beating all others."
--Allen Williams Consumer Reports
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Well, so far, I've given you just a taste of the results you can achieve when you hire the best direct mail copywriter in the English language today.
But you'll never really know how high your profits can go until you request your free, confidential, 15-minute phone conversation where I review your sales material and reveal how I would add a rocket booster to your response rates.
There's no risk, of course. No obligation. And nothing to lose when we have our first chat. On the contrary, if experience is any guide ... you have a heck of a lot to gain.
I look forward to speaking with you and sharing some of the wisdom I've learned over 25 years creating some of the most successful direct mail promotions in the history of direct response marketing.
Cheers!
Josh C. Manheimer
Norwich, Vermont
P.S. CONTACT: The best way to reach me is via email. jc@directmailcopy.com is a straight arrow into my cerebral cortex. However, if you prefer to call, my google voice number rings every phone on the East Coast in order to find me.
1-802-526-2201.
I love talking shop and will enjoy getting to know your business, your audience, your market, your competition -- inside and out -- so I can leap into the fray and have an immediate and profound impact on your bottom line.
P.P.S. SCHEDULING: My desk is always full of projects -- some big, some small -- so if you want me to make room for yours ... IN OUR LIFETIME ... it's best to contact me sooner than later, so I can add you to my schedule. More than one client has waited until the last minute to contact me and then been disappointed I was not available.
P.P.S.S. FEES: Before you widen the columns on your spreadsheets, please note -- someone at my skill level does not come cheap. Frankly, it takes a lot of time to chisel and polish great copy until it glistens like the Star of India. If you're hoping to dine at The Four Seasons, but only want to pay for Big Fatty's Barbecue, let's not waste each other's time.
P.P.P.S.S. PROFESSIONALISM: I take a lot of pride in my work. Nothing makes me happier than when my copywriting peers write to me and say ...
"I've never written a letter to a direct mail copywriter before. But your subscription package for Writer's Digest was super…"
-- Bob Bly, Author The Copywriter's Handbook
"Dear Josh, I swim in your wake. I have long admired your work and I often find myself recommending you when clients are looking to test something other than my stuff. I'm very good at selling clients on using me, but not quite as good at making the package! I steal shamelessly from you ..."
--R.R.
"Damn you, Manheimer. I'm on a really tight deadline and unfortunately I just discovered your site. Not only did all the cool stuff on it cost me a good hour on my project, I'll probably have to polish up my copy an extra half dozen to get it anywhere near where you've raised the bar. Thanks a bunch."
-- D.D.
"I'm a direct mail copywriter too, and I like to keep a wary eye on the competition, and someone of your ability deserves the wariest of eyes!"
--Richard Armstrong
"Finally got this year's copy of Who's Charging What! Had no idea it was you who did so many of my favorite packages. Your work reminds me why I got into direct in the first place. Thanks for showing the rest of us the way!"
-T.B.
By now you can probably tell, I'm pretty good at my day job.
So why not make contact? I'm quite nice. And I'm sure we'll enjoy talking about how to get your audience to light up with enthusiasm brighter than the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center.
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"I've never written a fan letter to a fellow direct mail copywriter before, but your new subscription letter for Writer's Digest is super."
-- Bob Bly, Author
The Copywriter's Handbook
"Wow! Gross is four times and net is double!"
--Cynthia Zhao
Circulation Director
The Asian Wall Street Journal
"A 14% response is perfectly incredible!"
--Colleen Cannon
Director of Marketing
F&W Publishing
"Your direct mail package for More Magazine indexed at 200 doubling response. That doesn't happen too often in magazine history, and is the first time it's happened at Meredith."
--Ellen de Lathouder
V.P. of Creative Services
Meredith Corporation
"We were astonished when your direct mail package pulled 72% better. I had not thought such an increase was possible."
--Rob Dubin, Publisher
Sailing Quarterly
"Your "Trigger" package now tops our winner's list as the best-ever direct mail package for Rodale books with results 2 to 1 over the standard! In fact, response was so high, we had to change the print run … "
--Kathy Ramsdell
Promotion Manager
Rodale Press
"Your package beat our launch package by almost 50% on a net response basis. This is a phenomenal response!"
--Jackie Prince
Doubletake
The "Trigger" mailing is brilliant. But Manheimer & Wise did not accomplish this breakthrough using the Clean Piece of Paper approach. Rather, they astutely built on proven techniques — some radical, other traditional -- devised for Rodale by some of America's greatest copywriters."
--Denison Hatch
Who's Mailing What
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